There is nothing worse than a month of ill health to prioritize one’s life- and thankfully, my health is presently improving. However- to continue on this upward trend, my family and I are going to be moving to a more modernly appointed home; we are fortunate to be given the opportunity in life to do so fairly easily, however, it has been a stressful couple of weeks!
It has also been brought to my very recent attention that there are certain individuals attempting to take unearned credit for the positive reception of this publication. Bluntly put, of my immediate family I only communicate with my brother, Bryan and my 88 year old Latvian grandmother Vija who has never accessed the internet with more than her pacemaker. I have not spoken to any other immediate blood relation, by my own choice, in over two years.
I have no other biological brothers (or sisters) and anyone (not being Bryan), who starts with “I’m Ren’s brother/sibling…” and does not complete that sentence with “…in the Asatru community.” is incorrect.
For my paternal grandparents: we have been estranged (by my choosing) for over two years. They lost all right to any pride in my accomplishments after my grandfather called me specifically in 2011 while recovering in Horsham from a suicide attempt that “I failed the family by not succeeding in killing myself”- For if I performed as he instructed, this publication would not exist.
It is no coincidence that I suffer from migraines, PTSD, and I choose to be estranged from most of my family. My migraines stem from a poorly healed compression fracture in my neck- caused by repeated strangulation and being grabbed repeatedly by that region by my parents. I have nothing to be ashamed of, the shame lies with those who abuse children, or decide that the suffering of their child is less important to them then any decrease in their own quality of life.
(As for my uncles: You guys are cool; I’m proud of your accomplishments. Sorry we all had to endure your siblings. Keep trying your best to minimize their ability to damage other family members; I don’t envy either of you in that task.)
I have no shame in estrangement since I chose to cut ties with people who chose to give me nothing but derision when I struggled, therefore, they excluded themselves from the table to share in any taste of my successes.
Just as I do not tolerate being put down by this human filth in real life, I also will not allow them to spin fiction about positive relationships that do not exist- If someone claims to be my family out of a misplaced desire to bring honor to themselves- they should have checked themselves when they did nothing but treat me poorly leading to this present outcome.
When we move- the new address will be unlisted. However, I encourage the following test:
If someone claims to know me well- ask them for their name and say “Hey, if I text Ren right now and say I’m with you- would she have positive or negative things to say about you?”
My phone number is 267-222-0539. I respond best by text.
Fortunately, after the publication of this open letter, I predict these unfortunate occurrences will stop entirely.
Since Pennsylvania has only seen recently fit to recognize child abuse as a state health crisis, I would like to share this resource for anyone who needs help assessing your own family relationships for toxicity:
Going No Contact with people who hurt you is the greatest gift you can grant yourself; If they did not care enough to keep you safe from harm, they do not deserve your time. Although I may always have scars both psychological and physical- like so many other Pennsylvanians- I see no reason to be ashamed of them any longer; I did not do this to myself, and my life is improved dramatically by their absence.
If we can address the underlying effects of childhood trauma I imagine several fronts of our health crisis would be much improved. This does not make the price of weed any cheaper, nor does it bring the shortage any closer to a faster conclusion- however, this has been my personal monkey on my back for over a month.
With that being said- there are people who are deserving of every accolade I can give them, my husband, my inlaws, my brother and my kind Latvian grandma (from a lineage of Latvian hemp farmers!), close friends from childhood, close friends from more recently, their families, mentors, therapists, and the rest of the Pennsylvania Medical cannabis community who have provided the love and support I lacked in childhood- and that is what I choose to focus on after this point.
Hopefully, with this being addressed, I can get back to the business of writing articles for you (in between migraines and other prior obligations) and packing up this house to march into the next, happier chapter of my life.
If they continue to perpetuate these misconceptions- refer back to this post. There is nothing more that needs to be said- and all comments are subject to review by me as well prior to their appearance or deletion.
With Kindest Regards,
*Now with more degrees/published material than any asshole, estranged blood relation!*😎